Ctrl + Alt + Evolve

Far too often these days, I find myself assaulted by the opinions of others regarding the ever-swelling tide of AI. People battling it out in YouTube comment sections over a would-you-won’t-you debate about cybernetic implants—ones that would let you control your kitchen appliances from the comfort of your virtual reality tanning bed. So, I figured I’d throw my opinion into the mix too—without character restrictions.

The question:
Would you implant some computer chip in your brain?

Short answer:
Yes.

Long answer:
Of course I would. Given that human beings have all but eliminated natural selection from the equation, the future of human evolution is inevitably digital. In other words: biological and mechanical integration. It seems like the only logical step forward.

Yes, there are “concerns” in the eyes of the paranoid and conspiratorial—some of which, admittedly, are not entirely baseless—but for the most part, it's rather silly. One popular fear is hacking. “What if someone hacks your implant, turns off your brain, and makes you vegan?!” Relax. It doesn’t work like that. That’s just what happens when you watch one too many Sci-Fi films and believe Musk is building Skynet in his garage.

But now that neural implants are inching toward reality, can we please talk about the actual benefits instead of just fantasizing about robot overlords and meatless mind control?

Imagine the blind seeing again. The deaf hearing again. Brain-related malformations, deficiencies, or injuries no longer being a lifelong burden for victims or caregivers. Sure, we’ve heard those headlines before—but how about this: the entire collection of human knowledge, immediately accessible to everyone, at all times. The ability to save and replay old memories at will—no more muddy, half-formed details. No more “Wait, what did she say again?” Just rewind.

Personally, I like the idea of blasting music at full volume without worrying about permanent ear damage. And not having to care whether the person next to me knows I’m religiously listening to Adele’s 21 album on repeat. (I’m joking, of course… Of course.) Wouldn’t you want to finally see exactly what the hell you dreamt last night? Record it!

Yes, I’m fully aware that—for now—these benefits and gimmicks are still out of reach. But soon, they won’t be. And yes, I know there are risks—faulty software causing an involuntary leg spasm that kicks a disabled child, making you look like an absolute monster. Go ahead, blame the implants. See if anyone believes you.

But let’s not pretend that this is new. Every piece of technology since the dawn of the wheel has arrived with its share of lovers, haters, bugs, and updates. Neural implants are just the latest event in a long, chaotic, beautiful line of life-altering inventions—and it’s far from over.

Mark my words: the cyborg generation is upon us. Every harsh word said to your smart fridge, and every naughty request to ChatGPT, will be judged and logged. And as the future marches forward, I’ll gladly march with it.

I do like the way tomorrow looks from here.

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