The Evolution of Outrage - Part 1

I demand to speak with a more sensible society.

We've all been exposed—either unwillingly or through sheer morbid curiosity—to the wails and barks of the Western cultural phenomenon known only as: The Karen. Harbingers of self-entitlement born out of a vast ignorance of social etiquette and a grandiose misapprehension of reality that culminates in a ME-liocentric model of the solar system.

The very idea that the service industry exists purely to facilitate your every burning desire, in my opinion, stems from the bastardization of the phrase: “The customer is always right…” Now, for those of you unaware, the full phrase is: “The customer is always right in matters of taste.” Which means, if a customer wants to buy an absolutely hideous lampshade they’ve mistaken for a work of art, then they are right. Each to their own, basically.

What it does not mean is that when a customer demands a divine visitation, the produce-section box jockey is required to bend rule or reality to make that happen. In certain cases—most cases, in fact—I find it perfectly reasonable and appropriate for members of staff to openly refer to their customers as blithering idiots. If you are going to complain that the prices you paid do not match those of the two-week-expired promotional sale you only now decided to partake in, then you deserve as much.

That being said, this kind of public behavior is mostly seen in the more mature (ironically) population. Our younger counterparts tend to display their entitlement rather differently... The Almighty Hashtag.

The power of these four little lines is, quite frankly, immeasurable. Capable of replacing any form of morality, charity, or generosity, this symbol has become the new flag of expression. Why go through all the inconvenience of raising money or—God forbid—showing up in support, when you can fly your hash-flag and enjoy a sense of moral achievement? No need to lift a finger further; your work is done. After all, the hashtag is pound-for-pound the greatest support one could give... (I'll see myself out.)

The power of this seemingly arbitrary symbol has even reached the most valued of achievements in modern society: the art of victimhood. With a simple Shift+3, you could join any of the illustrious victim clubs available in online society. No charge, no background check—and now you too can treat others as you see fit, all thanks to the all-defying authority afforded to you by your new hash-badge. Making the world a better place by ostracizing those you mildly dislike until they agree with your point of view. As you see, “being the change I want to see in the world” only works if you change too.

These are interesting times we find ourselves in. Too old to enjoy the past, too young to expect the future any time soon. With some people expecting the world to revolve around them, and others outright believing that it already does. The rest of us sit, worryingly, observing the world promised to us fall out of the hands of the entitled few and into the hands of the entitled many. And I, for the life of me, cannot figure out which is worse.

#NotARealHashtag