Generous, For A Price

I’m sure we’ve all come across the ever-present phenomenon that presents itself as the hopeful, selfless display of generosity and human kindness:

The impeccably well-dressed and groomed lady figure, wearing the saddest expression she can squeeze through the Botox and three-inch layer of concealer, approaching the downtrodden man sitting lost and confused on the sidewalk — in suspiciously clean shoes — and presenting him with a variety of mass-produced products and emotions. Only to look back at the camera as if to say, "Yes, I am just THAT kind. Drop a like."

This, of course, is the manufactured version of the social media trend where genuine kindness is candidly captured on video, generating mass amounts of support and praise. A few — a very lack-minded few — saw this as an opportunity to cash in on the likes and followers… by fabricating the entire show. You read that right. Sub-D-level actors who would be chased out of the Sharknado 12: It’s Getting Windy Out There studios for being the most appalling performers to ever soil a screen since Gal Gadot’s attempt at calming the Man of Steel.

The problem isn’t necessarily that these people exist — less-than-charitable charities have been around since Jesus first learned to crawl on water. The problem is that there are people who still fall for this. Seriously, they watch the same videos we do. They see the same terrible acting that would make Nicolas Cage deserving of an Oscar, yet they fall for it, head over heels. Peppering the comment sections with spew-worthy dribble such as, "If only everyone were so kind."

Things like this give death penalty debates a grey area and a very wide application. I kid, of course, but in all seriousness — it’s not enough that there are genuine people out there struggling just to stay alive day to day. It’s not enough that there are genuine, kind-hearted people going unnoticed, actually and actively trying to make a difference in the world. No, now we have these clout clowns literally stealing the spotlight with their butt-filters and facelifts, making money off fellow idiots by handing a sandwich to a poorly dressed friend.

In previous posts, I unknowingly hinted at possible reasons why we’ve yet to be visited by our hyper-intelligent intergalactic neighbors. Here, I state it outright: we are morons. Yes, we. Because we’ve allowed the dullest among us to have the loudest voices.

All in the name of freedom of expression. Well… perhaps some of us should stop expressing — for the benefit of all humankind.